My daughter’s horrible ex-friends.

                  After my last post about this my daughter gave her older friend another chance. Just to make this easy her older friend I will call J and the new girl I will cal V. Since V came to the school J has been fighting with girls she had been friends with for many years. My daughter remained friends with J and V as others stopped talking to them. This was detrimental to my daughter, who is loyal to a fault. When J and V turned their back on my daughter, they thought she would be alone.

My daughter has starting over with girls that she tried to get J and V to be nice to. When V got mad at J abd decided not to talk to her for a week, J was very upset. She was crying and moping. The only person there for her was my daughter. After that week V started talking to J and they were best friends again. Then a couple weeks later V did it to J again and J relied on my daughter to get her through. Which of course my daughter did. J then started talking to V again and the alienation of J’s older friends continued.
J had quite a few friends before this started, now all she has left is V. My daughter gave J another chance, they have been friends for 6 years. Our family has always watched out for her and treated her and her mother like our own. This kid has slept over our house for days at a time and when her family was having a tough time ours was there for her. My daughter has been asking to go to a different school all year because of all the issues.

My wife works at the school where V used to go. She was talking to some of the kids about V because she started coming to our house and we wanted to know a little more about her. The kids said she started trouble with all the girls at that school and that is why she left. Some of the administration said the same thing. So my wife told me about this and we decided not to say anything to my daughter about it.

My daughter was staying over J’s house when J invited V over. V said she is not ok with my daughter and that my daughter needed to apologize to her. The day after my daughter freaked out on them for screwing her, they both kept asking myb daughter if she was ok. Why would someone do that if they were not ok with them? It seemed to me it was a way for V to stick her thumb in my daughters eye, letting her know that J was better friends with V. My daughter called my wife to come home. My wife talked my daughter into staying and told her about V’s problems at her last school. The only thing my wife said to J was asking if she noticed how she never had any problems with other kids until V got there.

J who we have helped, protected from some bad situations told V’s mom what my wife said to my daughter. She listened when my wife was talking to my daughter. She lied and said things my wife didnt say. V’s mom called my wife for the second time in the last month to yell at her for my daughter being mad at her kid and apparently for telling all the kids at the school not to be friends with her kid. She said it is sad that a grown women is getting involved in 12 year old drama, although she called us 2 times about it. Crazy is as crazy does.

J is no longer allowed in our home and I will do nothing to help her. She created a problem where there wasn’t one to get into V’s good graces. My daughter said screw her and is done with her. She has continued hanging out with other kids. You can tell she is upset though. This is ridiculous.


           I am an unfortunate child of divorce, my real dad was a pig who screwed around on my mom. But on the other hand I was one of the fortunate ones whose stepfather was a good man. He came into the picture knowing my mom had 2 kids, me 8 and my sister 5. My mom was also pregnant with his only child.

           My step-dad, who I call Dad, lost his father when he was about 12. His dad was never an affectionate man and was hard on his kids. His mom had to work 2 jobs and was not around cc as much as she wanted to be. She did what she had to do to take care of her family. That is what any good parent would do. She did the best she could with the tools and parenting skills her parents gave her.

My real dad is gone, for many years and not in the picture. My REAL Dad is here and my kids think he is pretty cool. He shows them his guitars and listens to them talk. He has actually come to 2 of my daughters spring soccer games, he only likes football and NASCAR. I am glad they have a relationship, I lost it with some of my grandparents.

Any step child will have issues with their step parent. You never see eye to eye with them. But he was a goid man who did the best he could. I could have done a lot worse for a stepfather and not a bit better. I could not be the man or father I am today without you Dad. I love you and have a great Fathers Day!

Representative Louie Gohmert believes women should carry a brain dead fetus to term.

              Rep. Louie Gohmert (R-Tx) believes thar females should carry all pregnancies to term even if doctors discover the fetus has brain damage. Rep Gohmert supports a 20 week ban on abortion, even in cases of rape, incest, when the mothers health is in danger or when the fetus has a debilitating or fatal disability. Gohmert is not the first politician to suggest that a women should carry a severely disabled fetus to term. Georgia State Rep. Terry England compared women to farm animals.

England said in response to carrying a fetus to term that was not expected to live “Life gives us many experiences. I’ve had the experience of delivering calves, dead and alive- delivering pigs, dead and alive. It breaks our hearts to see those animals not make it.” REALLY? This is the best comparison you can come up with. REALLY? A baby delivered, dead is comparable to an animal. I would hate to see how hev treats his kids. Does ge feed them in a trough? Let them take mud paths and wallow in their own sh*t? REALLY? Typical Republican ridiculousness.

Even though medical experts have warned Republican lawmakers that cutting off legal abortion access at 20 weeks will force more women to carry non viable fetuses to term, several states have passed “fetal pain” bans over the last several years. When Arizona passed this type of measure in 2012, the volunteer organizations that counsel women whose children die from fatal fetal defects braced for the influx of new families dealing with that grief. When the restrictive law ended up in court opponents pointed out that its cruel to require women to give birth to children just to watch them die, Arizona defended its abortion ban by claiming those fetal abnormalities are the women’s problem. But the state wants to take away the solution to the problem, by forcing them to have a disabled child and not giving them any assistance. Insane, is the first word that came to my mind.

Arizona’s abortion ban was struck down by a panel of judges. It thankfully spared women in that state from the potentially devastating effects of giving birth to a dead child. Obviously it hasn’t deterred Republicans and pro-life politicians. Arizona Rep Trent Franks (R), has reapeatedly pushed for a 20 week abortion ban for the District of Columbia, recently announced he intends to expand H.R. 1797 to apply to all states.

Why don’t Republicans realize they are stomping on the U.S. Constitution, this is law. Roe v. Wade was decided in the U.S. Supreme Court and is the law of the land. Maybe they should concern themselves with creating more jobs than dictating to women’s uteruses, then the Democrats wouldn’t have to govern our country alone. But then again it seems there are very few things that unite Republicans, no raising taxes, not helping the poor, giving money to the rich, banning abortion and their hatred of President Obama. Now if they would unite on fixing the economy and creating jobs we would be doing great.

How do you tell your daughter her friends suck.

           I have a 9 year old and a 11 year old daughter. Everything up until this year was easy, no dramas, no fights and basically a group that got along. They go to a Charter School that goes from Kindergarten to 8th grade. There are 50 kids in each grade except Kindergarten, which has 40 kids. Most of these kids have been together since Kindergarten and more have been together since 1st grade.

My oldest is in 6th grade and got a couple of new girls this year. My daughter has been friends with the same group of kids since 1st grade. Most of the girls got along, of course there were occaisonal issues, but nothing big. Her best friend left for another school at the end of last year. She continued to hang out with the other girls. As this school year went on the group got smaller and smaller. One of the new girls got in with the group and within a week they started splitting apart.

My daughter remained with the new girl and her other friend. Everyday a different girl would have a problem with my daughter’s 2 friends. We were only getting information from one side, so we were kind of biased in our opinion. Others kids parents were freaking out on my daughters 2 friends. As the school year went on this continued to happen. My daughter was friends with these 2 girls but started hanging out with different girls. Even the attitude of the 2 girls changed.

It took the whole school year but they finally hurt my kid. My wife was warning my daughter that it would happen and it did. They screwed her good for a kid that they hate. This was the first time my daughter has ever yelled at one of her friends in anger. She wanted to hit her in the mouth. This is a girl she has been friends with since she was 5. My daughter ripped into the girl. The girl called my wife crying and my wife asked if she did what upset my daughter and she said she did. Then why are you crying she asked her.

The next day the girl asked my daughter if she was ok, but wouldnt talk to her. Since then my daughter has branched out and started talking with other kids. Quite a few girls asked if she was ok and said that the girl did the same thing to them. Girls that my daughter didn’t talk to because of her loyalty to her friend. It turns out my daughter gets along with all of them. We told her to branch out, make some new friends and move on.

As a parent you hate to see your kid hurt. But to say don’t hang out with that kid will only make her wantb that friend more. We always try to protect our kids but we can only do so much. I am proud of my daughter, I know she us hurting inside, but she just kept moving on. It takes a person with strong character to do that. She will find her way, now I just have to stay out of hers.

People are unable to take responsibility for what they do.

                When I was growing up, things were a lot different. When you did something wrong I was held responsible for it. I did something wrong, purposely or by mistake,  I was made to apologize, as are my kids now. People ask what is wrong with our kids today? Let me give you some of what I think.

              As a parent we are supposed to hold our children responsible for their actions. This is how they learn from mistakes. If there are no repercussions for actions children will continue doing them. If your child takes something that is not theirs they should apologize. Even if it is a mistake, especially when they were around them for an extended period of time after the fact. A parent should not mske excuses for the child. Honestly, how hard is it to say I am sorry?

                  When a parent does this they set their kids up for a tough existence. The kid is going to think they can do as they will and their parent will bail them out. This is a recipe for a future prison sentence. If they believe it is ok to take what isn’t theirs, they are never going to adapt to everyday life. When a parent screams and comes to the defense of a child who is getting in trouble for something, it sets a horrible example for the child.

                     I personally have dealt with a parent like this and it is frustrating. The parent has gobe as far as to say I had a vendetta against their child. She took something that wasn’t hers and I am giving the child a chance to apologize either to the team or to the girl in private. The mother said she did it by accident and she shouldnt have to apologize. If I had a vendetta against this child, why would the parent let her child play for me.

                  People that parent like this make it harder on all thosr arpund them. Kids are walking on eggshells around this child. I don’t believe any other child should suffer for this parents horrible behavior. But it will always b e someone else’s fault and they will take the fall for thus parent. I will not, I will do what I believe is right.

Social Media and todays pre-teens.

             Social Media for an adult is a wonderful thing, Twitter is my social media vice. If you are into politics, sports, religion, photography and whatever else you are interested in, it is right there. My live for politics has grown since joining Twitter. My wife is on Facebook and Instagram quite a bit.

              But for our pre-teen kids it is a little much. If you come from the bullying point of view, there is no escape. You are bullied in school, they find you online and keep up the attack, basically destroying any chance for friendly contact. The people that abuse this are generally not good people. But the kids that do it, are usually quite a bit like their parents. The only way to stop this is to keep your kids away from social media, that in turn will make them a pariah in school.

              The next ill of social media is how it is causing our kids to grow up alarmingly fast. These pre-teen girls know quite a bit more than they should. If you were to look at some of this kids Instagram pages you find some very shocking things there. Sexual innuendo, pictures describing sex and things about sex I know nothing about. How do we keep them away from this? Yes, I understand that they will eventually learn these things, but lets wait until then.

                I know kids today are maturing faster, I have 2. But I honestly believe social media is a tool best left to adults. These kids do not have the common sense or street smarts to use these things. Parents are getting into trouble because their 12 year old is writing that they want to kill themselves. It is nit enough that a parent has to worry about everything else, but also worry about a world that doesn’t make sense to us. It will only get worse, any step we take to change this will be met with heated resistance. Good luck to all parents out there.

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Republican misinformation about SNAP benefits.

              This morning I switched on a local conservative talk show, being that there are not any progressive radio shows in my area. In the 10 minutes I listened, I was shocked by the disingenuous “facts” being shared. The host is a self described conservative named Sue Henry. I unfortunately did not catch the name of the guest. But I did hear him tell blatant lies about the SNAP program.

              For those who don’t know, the SNAP program is food stamps and other food assistance for low income families. The amount of families on SNAP has grown in direct result of the Great Recession and our Republican enforced slow recovery. Yes we did give $80 billion to the SNAP program. But to even this up, Republicans refuse to touch tax loopholes and corporate welfare that cost us about $200 billion a year. Who really needs it more?

            Sue Henry’s guest said that a lot of the SNAP benefits were spent on soda and junk food. He believes that we should know exactly how SNAP benefits are spent. That they should be cut and the saved money used to teach the poor how to feed their children healthier. I do believe the First Lady Michelle Obama tried to do something similar for children and Republicans said she should mind her own business. When the New York governed tried to ban single sods purchases over a certain amount of ounces, Republicans pounced and said it would create job losses.

              To take a step further into this, her Republican guest is asking for total disclosure of food stamp purchases. But the Republican party refutes shareholders rights to know how the company they invested in is spending their money. Sounds a bit hypocritical.

               But the true lie comes here. This guest said he was in a store and a person attempted to buy cigarettes with food stamps. The clerk sold them the cigarettes using food stamps and then preceded to give the cigarette purchaser change back from said food stamps. The guest said he immeadiatly went to the store manager, who handled the clerk.

              If you don’t know what part of that is unequivocally untrue, I will now tell you. First of all Food Stamps do not exist, in the state of Pennsylvania you use an Access card. You do not receive change on any Food Stamp purchase, because you have a set amount on the card and each use subtracts from that amount. This is the biggest lie of them all. Any purchase you make, cash items, cigarettes ate charged seperstely. If you bought $23 in food and $10 in cigarettes, the food amount comes off first. You then pay cash amount. LIES, LIES, LIES.

             Democrats allowing this are spineless cowards. Each dollar we spend on food assistance puts $1.84 back into the economy, according to the CBO. So this is Republicans just attacking those who cannot politically protect themselves. While leaving huge stacks of money on the table that could pay down National Debt. All so they don’t upset their corporate donors.

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How do we handle our child being bullied?

          It seems at least a few times a month I read about a child committing suicide because they were bullied. I am sure it is more frequent but not all make the news. That does not diminish the fact a life was ended early because another person or people bullied them. I ask myself, what should we as parents do to protect our child?

           We all know, having dealt with other children when we were younger, how brutal kids can be. Kids get picked on for being poor, having pimples, the house you live in, sexual orientation, eyebrows, we could go on all day with this. Kids brutalize one another emotionally. Some kids are picked on by large groups, sometimes it is one kid, sometimes it us physical and sometimes its mental. Either way it affects each kid differently.

                Schools create anti-bullying programs and tell parents and children to talk to teachers and administrators if there is a problem. It does not work. I have seen these programs at work and I assure you that they let kids down. School should be a place they feel safe and a teacher a person they feel they can go to. The unfortunate truth here is that most bullies parents are just as bad as the bully. In turn if a teacher attempts to take care of a problem they are then bullied by the parent.

             How to handle a bully parent? I think a parent that attempts to bully their child should have charges levied against them. I am all for protecting your child, but if several kids are saying your child is picking on them, chances are its true. Parents of the bullied child attempt to let the school take care of the problem. Then when the school can’t the problem in some cases is too far gone.

            If we truly want to stop bullying, which will never happen. But if we want to make it less we need to hold the parent, teachers and administrators all responsible. If a child is being threatened by a parent we need more comprehensive protection for that child. I am not a perfect parent, but I try to keep my kids aware of how they treat others. It would be nice if other parents did so as well.

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Bullying, what us our responsibility?

            Bullying is a very serious problem in todays society. With social media kids today do not have an escape from their tormentor. It is a constant issue for the child being bullied. Is it a problem caused by parenting, a chemical imbalance or just mean children? I am not sure we will ever really know, but we need to figure out the right way for administrators and parents to get involved.

                Asking a teacher today to get involved and prevent bullying is very difficult. First most teachers are teaching a class with 30-35 students. Second teachers are not allowed to handle problems in a way that would actually stop the bully. When we got in trouble as a kid, and if it was bad enough you would get paddled. That is no longer an option. Third and this is bothersome it seems as if many, not all teachers don’t want to he bothered. Fourth, I think on some levels teachers are afraid of students because of the harsh way students sometimes react. An example is Columbine.

               Administrators are stuck in a different position. They do not deal with the kids everyday, so they do nit know exactly what is going on. They tend to take the side of the first person to come to them, whether it is right or wrong. In more cases than wecwould like to admit they just do nothing. My child personally did not deal with this, but knows several children who did. Administrators need to be held responsible for what happens in these cases.

             Then you have the parents. Instead of parents trying to stop the bully from bullying they protect them from trouble and bully the people trying to hold their kid responsible. It is in these cases a learned trait, we have been seeing this more lately. Then you have the parents whose child does not do anything wrong and will argue with anyone who says their child is guilty of something. We need to hold the child responsible as well as the parent and maybe punish both in order to get control of this.

            There are way to many young kids taking their own life because of bullying. We need to get a handle on this and protect our children. Holding people responsible would be the first step.

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Education reform.

                Education reform should be one of the top issues being discussed by our lawmakers. For a nation that spends $800 billion per year, 6 times higher than the next closest spender, we rank below Canada in almost every important category. Much of the blame for this goes to the socio-economic status of the districts.

                A kid grower up in a poor or urban area are less likely to succeed in school. The poor kid already starts with a disadvantage, his socio-economic status. Poor kids generally do not eat as well and many come from single parent households. A hungry or malnourished child is not going to learn as quickly because of being hungry, it also erodes a childs ability to pay attention. Kids from these social class or poorer districts have already been put behind the 8 ball.

            Standardized testing, while a good early to evaluate students progress shoud not determine the money a school gets. Poor districts are already providing below average education and test scores, is taking more money away going to improve the situation. The wealthier a district on average the higher the test scores and the more money they would receive. While poorer districts are cutting classes, be it Spanish, Music or Art, wealthier districts are getting more money to use for whatever needs.

              The solutions to this problem may not be easy and will most likely be harder to swallow. Privatizing schools is the Republican idea. It won’t work, look at other privatization models. Democrats like charter schools and putting more money into it, instead of making a smart investment. Here are a few ideas.

           Every school gets the sane amount per child, regardless of district or scores. Every teacher is evaluated and has to stand in front of a board to justify either failing children or success. This way we can find what works and what doesn’t. Public Charter School, they are like a public school, but there is not a teachers union and the curriculum differs. Bear Creek Community Charter School is a fantastic example, it is located in Bear Creek, Pa. We need to hold teachers, administrators, parents and children responsible to move forward.

             We can spend the same amount and get a better education
We can compete globally if we are willing to change our way of thinking. Some all important tweeks and we have a completely different and viable public education system.

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